Butterplys

Sunday and Monday have come and gone and they were equally wonderful.

So sorry I haven't blogged everyday, I've been exhausted at night! 

*Exhaustion=sleeping all night=good thing*

*I would also like to apologize for my depressing last post, there were just a lot of emotions to process. So thank you for bearing with me. *

We woke up Sunday morning and headed to church. We arrived and I was surprised by the amount of people that were at the school for worship service. We walked into the building and one of the woman that we had met on Saturday *who had hugged and held on to us a lot* was there. Pure JOY. 

We continued on our walk to the kitchen and put our bags down. Sokhom came in and asked if we wanted to lead children's worship and bible class instead of just class. He said it's hard for the children to sit quietly in regular service *heard that* and so we could lead a separate service if we wanted to. We agreed to do it and immediately made our way to the back room where nearly 30 kids were waiting for us on mats. Srey Nam said she was going to be our translator *thank you Lord* and so we removed our shoes and got started. 

We started by singing songs, which is there favorite thing. They know several great ones:

Father Abraham

Ha-la-la-la-la-la-leilujah *no idea how to spell that*

I've Got the Joy Joy Joy Joy

Jesus Loves Me 

and If You Love Jesus 

We sang through all of those pretty quickly and so Sarah and I decided to teach them one. I quickly thought of The Caterpillar Song *climbed up in a tree. He wiggled once, he wiggled twice... You know it* Sarah didn't know it so it was solo time for Cassie again. I tried to teach them as well as I could, but the English was hard  for them. They couldn't get caterpillar but they shouted butterfly when it came to that part. Sure, it was more of a "butterply," but hey. It works.

Then we got the children's bible out and began with the story of Jonah. Sarah held it up and showed the kids the pictures, I read the story line by line, and Srey Nam translated for us. After Jonah, we read the story of Daniel. After the stories, someone prayed and then it was time for everyone to go home. 

Sokhom brought us communion which consisted of bread and a red juice that tasted like strawberry koolaid. *Fine by me, it took me back to childhood* 

We all helped to prepare lunch, we all ate lunch, and then we were asked if we wanted to go buy souviners or go see the Killing Fields. We did but it was raining and we want to watch "The Killing Fields" before we go so we can get a better grasp of what happened. So we headed back to the hotel and stopped in the mini mart downstairs to grab some 7-Up. Once upstairs, we popped some popcorn and settled in to watch "The Killing Fields." Sarah fell asleep 30 minutes in *she said she didn't but yeah right* so I stopped it and rested as well.

After our nap we were picked up in the tuk tuk by Pum and Sythourn *my students* and went back to the school. We got inside and they asked Srey Nam if they could take us to the river, she said yes and we recruited 2 of Sarah's students as well as Cha Keo *the little girl I always talk about* and Daniel. *her little brother* 

We got in the tuk tuk and drove for a while. The sights and smells are all new to me. The strong smells of garlic and incense and garbage mingle with the sweet smells of mango and rain and everything is so green. Sometimes it feels like we are literally in a jungle. We passed many fruit and vegetable stands set up a long the road. Entire families would be sitting by their stand with their house in the background.

We got to the river and it was pretty crowded.

Good thing the Mekong is HUGE.

We piled out of the tuk tuk and walked along the top of a concrete wall. The wall is very tall and slanted down with a valley-type thing that meets the river. People farm down in the valley area but the students said that during the rainy season, the water reaches to the top of the concrete wall. It's crazy to think about. 

We walked the length of the river and were given a tour of Phnom Penh from across the river. They showed us the ferry boats and the tour boats, as well as the Royal Palace and a casino where the wealthy people all go to play cards. There is a man-made island *Lemon Island* that was created a couple of years ago. The students said that they made it very beautiful. 

Once we reached the end of the road, Pum drove up in the tuk tuk and we piled in again and headed home.

Quick word on Pum's driving. The tuk tuk is a standard and *it seems like* Pum is just now learning how to drive it. So yes, there is a LOT of stalling out happening in the middle of roads.. It's pretty funny. 

Once we got back, we had dinner and  then headed back to the hotel.

Sunday was over.

Monday morning came pretty early *I think we're finally getting used to the time difference stuff* but we got up and made to the school on time. I taught my class about "Who, What, When, and Where." It was a little difficult at first, but they quickly understood and were making sentences in no time. 

Lunch time rolled around and we helped prepare it. Right before we all sat down to eat, one of Sarah's students came down the stairs in a new change of clothes. He had on a girls shirt *you could tell by the neckline* and immediately one of my students cried out "Oh what a beautiful girl!" 

It was literally the funniest thing ever. Plus I was so proud of his English. It was wonderful. Have I mentioned how much I love my class? 

We had our afternoon session and then helped prepare the vegetables for dinner. As soon as we were done helping we went outside to watch the boys play their afternoon volleyball game. *They are So good* 

Y'all.

It is hilarious.

They only speak in Khmer but I can tell when there is trash talking going on. I got invited to play.. Obviously I said no. I would be made fun of, no doubt.

I'll play someday.

Maybe. 

The children arrived and we began our lesson. They were SO hyper and the mid-lesson thunderstorm did not help at all. But we made it through an hour and then said our goodbyes. 

Dinner was served and we were brought back to the hotel. 

Another day is done. 

We are finally getting into a rhythm and it is rocking. It's hard work but this is an internship, it's not like we're on vacation. *Even though it feels like it sometimes*

Sorry this post was kinda like a list. But that's kind of how it is right now. 

Routine.

But don't worry, God is showing up daily and showing us new things constantly. So there are many MANY more stories to come.

I just know it. 

Until then,

Cassie 

Lasagna: A Tale of Generosity and New Friends

Saturday.

Saturday.

Saturday.

The more times you say a word, the weirder it sounds.

I've realized that a lot while teaching English. 

This morning we woke up and headed to the school around 8:00. We met up with the students and then began our trek. 

We walked down the main road and then turned off and started walking down another road. All of a sudden we were in the middle of a little neighborhood. There were shack-type houses all over and so much happening. People were coming in and out of houses and half-clothed children were running back and forth and peering out from behind doors at the two extremely white people walking through their neighborhood. Dogs and chickens roamed freely and the smell in the air wasn't too inciting. Garbage littered the ground and clothes hung from lines that crisscrossed in the alleyways and were strung out from window to window. We stepped under a roof and into a woman's house. There were no walls but there were two men shoveling concrete and building a small room off to the side. The woman sat on a what looked like a wicker table and motioned for us to come in and sit with her. The two students we were with took a seat and then Sarah and I politely slipped our shoes off and joined her on the table. The students were carrying on a conversation with her about us and translated when she asked us specific questions. I easily picked up the word "saat" when she pointed. She was telling us how beautiful we were and so we politely responded with "a kuhn turan" which means "thank you very much." After we had been sitting there for a while, answering her questions about our families and why we were in Cambodia, another woman came and joined in the conversation. She asked some more questions and then they all spoke in Khmer. I have no idea what was said, but Sarah and I just listened and tried to make friends with the children that were sneaking in to get a better look at us. 

Toward the end of our visit, the women kept expressing how grateful they were for us to be there and for visiting with them. We said our goodbyes and then continued on our walk. 

There were so many back alleys and so many turns, I was sure we were lost, but the boys knew exactly where we were. We eventually took a left that led us into what seemed like kind of a meadow. There was definitely more room between houses and a lot more vegetation. All of a sudden we heard a commotion and looked up to see three of the children that we teach in the evenings running towards us yelling "teacher!" It was so fun! They led us to their house and proudly showed us the vegetable stand that their family owns. We stood there and visited with them for a while and then an older woman began to lead us to her house which was across the path. So we all joined her on her front porch. She asked many of the same questions and was HILARIOUS. She was obviously teasing the students and they seemed to have a wonderful relationship with each other. She told us about her house and her cat *who brought a bird over and ate it by my foot the entire time* and about Cambodia. She said we needed to learn Khmer if we were going to be here for a long time. She started to count in Khmer for us and was quite impressed when I began rattling off the numbers along with her. She wanted us to guess her age, which is so hard to do here. THEY DO NOT AGE. They all think we're 30 years old and we think they're at least ten years younger than they are. She was 71 and didn't look a day over 61. We talked with her for a long time and then she began to worry because it was getting hot on the porch. So we all got up and walked back over to the students' house and went inside. The floors were dirt and rocks and there were tables and cots, as well as a van bench (like out of a car) that Sarah and I were instructed to sit on because it was the best seat in the house. After we were there for a while longer, the boys said it was time to go. We said our goodbye's and did our bowing and then headed out again. 

As we were walking, we began to smell a familiar smell...

COWS.

There was a field full of cows.

Smelled like home sweet home. 

We arrived in an area that was covered in houses on stilts. We walked up to one house that had an older woman and younger woman cooking and chopping vegetables. There were also like three little girls and a little baby teetering around in a diaper. They pulled up chairs and invited us to sit down. This family had many farm animals and took pride in the doves "that's what we decided we looked most like* that they were raising. The students told us that the doves were extremely expensive to buy. We sat there for a while and watched the roosters and puppies fight over rice. The students talked with the family for just a short amount of time and then they said it was time to go. We bowed and said thank you and goodbye and then carried on. 

We found another family just across the way and the boys talked them for an even shorter amount of time. As one of the students was talking to the family, we were told a little more about the neighborhood that we were in. It was a predominately Islamic neighborhood and consisted of many villagers that moved into the city in hopes of finding work. The land cost $7 per plot and you build your own house out of sheets of metal and wood and whatever else you can find. We said goodbye and walked a little further.

 We came to a house where several little boys were playing and proudly displaying the fish they had caught in the stream nearby. An elderly woman walked out of her house and was overjoyed to see us. She immediately grabbed onto our arms and thanked us for coming. Throughout our visit she kept hugging us and expressing her gratitude. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

Her house was the last one that we were going to stop at, so we walked back to the school. We had lunch and then headed back to the hotel for a day planned to be full of laundry and rest.

And it was just that.  

We figured out how to use the laundry machines and did 3 loads. Then we laid all of our clothes all over the apartment to dry. We got pretty exceptional, innovative, and real here in room 202. ACU would be proud. 

4:45 rolled around and we headed downstairs to get a tuk tuk to take us to dinner. We connected with an American couple through Chris Flanders. They've lived here for 6 years. SIX YEARS. Their names are Andrew and Natalie Hayes and they are wonderful! We survived the tuk tuk ride *after getting a tiny bit lost, but we called Natalie on our local phone and she kindly directed our driver to the location* and met them at a German restaurant called Tell. We talked forever and got to know each other. The Hayes' have lived in Phnom Penh for 6 years and originally came over to join another family to form a team. They were here for 10 months and then their teammates decided to move back to the states and their lives began to take a different direction. They became missionaries here in order to begin church planting and Bible teaching but it wasn't really working out. So they both got jobs as English teachers at a local institute and were no longer full-time missionaries since they were earning an income. They try to do in-home Bible studies and they attend workshops on how to teach the Bible without the Bible. *more of a personal conversation rather than a lecture out of Leviticus* 

We chatted and ate.

And boy did we eat.

I seriously have a disorder when it comes to lasagna.

If it's on a menu, I have to order it.

If a plate of it is in front of me, I have to eat it.

If the pan was in front of me, I would eat the whole thing.

I have a problem. 

All that to say, there was lasagna on the menu and I was in Heaven.

It may have been because I've lived on rice for the past week.

Or maybe it was because it tasted like home.

Either way, I ate the entire dish in like 2 minutes.

It was the best lasagna that I've ever had.

In my entire life.

Dramatic?

Maybe.

Overjoyed due to the amount of lasagna I consumed?

Absolutely.

After we ate we they took us to their favorite grocery store nearby and we bought some stuff that we had been needing to get. They showed us the best bread to buy and the best snacks to get.

Seriously y'all. They are incredible. 

They got us a tuk tuk and told the driver where to go and we said our goodbyes, as well as made plans to meet up again soon. *as in this weekend*

As we were driving back to our hotel, I replayed my day over and over in my mind. It was a wonderful day full of beautiful people and new friends. But it was so full of opposites. 

I left a luxurious hotel this morning.

We visited the poorest neighborhood I have ever been in.

I was worried about getting my chacos muddy.

Children were running around with no clothes on.

I'm getting tired of all the rice I'm eating.

People are starving and would give anything for rice.

I ate an entire plate of lasagna without even thinking twice.

An entire family went to bed hungry tonight. 

It's an awful feeling y'all.

I live such an oblivious life.

Sure, I may give a bag of snacks to a homeless man.

Or donate my old clothes to Christian Service Center.

But it's always my leftovers. 

It's always the second thought.

Why?

I can blame it on society or the media or childhood obesity or something else.

The fact is that everyone blames everyone else for world hunger or homelessness or poverty. If we stopped blaming and started doing, things would change. 

And please don't think I'm trying to sound like one of those commercials that shows pictures of children and asks for money... because I'm not. I'm not trying to guilt trip or lecture, I'm just trying to let you know how pathetic it is that I had to fly around the world in order to realize I'm not as important as I think I am. 

But you know what?

My eyes are being opened daily. 

And I'm so very grateful for that. 

The people I visited with today had absolutely nothing and yet they offered me everything that they had. A roof to shade me from the sun, a plastic chair, a cushioned van bench, a mango, and when there was absolutely nothing material to be offered, a hug. Generosity isn't about earning a ton of money and giving a lot of it to the poor. 

It's about giving people all the love in your heart. 

It comes straight from God and it is a beautiful gift to give.

Because when you do, crazy stuff starts happening.

And before you know it, you don't matter. 

And you're okay with that. 

So, tonight, my prayer is for all of the people I met today. May they find comfort and peace and joy from the one who created us all.

I also pray that our eyes be opened. 

There is so much to see. 

You just have to look. 

Love you all like crazy,

Cassie 

Hands and Feet and Vivid Dreams

I can't believe that Friday has already come and gone.

Aka our first work week has come and gone. 

WHAT. 

It feels like I just hopped off the plane. 

Not really.

But a little bit.

Sarah and I woke up this morning and talked about our dreams. Like our literal dreams from the night before. The malaria pills give us extremely vivid dreams. So far I have been a contestant on a reality TV show, I've helped Abilene Christian Schools put on a really awesome performance for their senior assembly, I've taught English, *big surprise* I've proctored a test for my dad's class, I saw Pure Gold in a van at the bank, I was an official furniture tester, I went back to the dorms to help out in the newly established dorm nursery, and I've been a competitor in a relay type thing which took place in a Hunger Game's type arena thing. It's been really fun. I just can't seem to get away from adventure. 

Sarah and I had a slight miscommunication with our ride this morning. Chanty, one of Sarah's student and the husband of Sokhom's niece, came to pick us up and waited in the car for us to come out. Our ride typically comes in and gets us from the lobby. Apparently he thought we were just running late because he didn't see us in the window. Well we weren't, we were just by the other window. We thought we had been forgotten because we always get picked up at 7:30 and no one was anywhere to be found. We were sitting there at 7:50 when Selah walked into the lobby. We followed him outside and found Selah, his scooter, Chanty, and the car. They explained *as well as they could* that Chanty didn't know to come inside and get us so he was waiting for us that whole time. Srey Nam had gotten worried and sent Selah to our rescue. 

We felt SO bad. 

But life goes on and we all had a good laugh about it later. 

The students wanted to practice writing more sentences today *almost 100% sure that's what they were trying to tell me, if not.. sorry about it students* so that's all we did for 2 hours. I hope they aren't bored. They are making SO much progress though. Now, when I ask them questions, there aren't as many blank stares back at me. In the afternoon I attempted to explain the difference between -ed and -ing... bad move on my part. It's really hard to do with a language barrier, but they took it like champs and we even played a few games that had to do with the concept. 

They call me by my name now. It's music to my ears. I love when they say "Cassie?" and then ask me a question or motion me over to see something in their notebooks. Today one boy motioned me over and pointed to the words of Jesus Loves Me. 

*Side note: They know the Khmer words to the song but really wanted to learn it in English, so I began teaching them yesterday. We learned the whole song and they sing it beautifully now.*

He asked me to finish it today and I told him that I finished it yesterday and I was so proud of them for learning it so easily. Then he went and got their Khmer song book and found Jesus Loves Me. 

Guess what folks.

There are 4 verses to the song in that book. 

I had no idea what they said because everything is in Khmer. 

I used my new best friend, Google, and found different verses to the song, but I had no idea which verse was which or which version they had in their books. Then another boy went and got an English praise book and found Jesus Loves Me. It only had 3 verses, but I taught them the second verse out of that book. 

I hope it's right.

Oh well. It's all the same to God right?

Also I just want to make sure everyone realizes what I mean when I say that I taught them this song. That means Cassie was singing a solo in front of 12 people.

Y'all. 

I don't do solos.

Oh well. 

They only laughed at me a little when I couldn't hit the high notes. 

I really hate solos.

Anyways, meal times were not as exciting as yesterday for Sarah. No more fish eyes. But I guess that's a good thing. A really good thing.

It rained all afternoon. And when I say all, I mean ALL afternoon. It was wonderful. Srey Nam didn't think we would have any children come for classes, but sure enough, at 5:30 our 2 faithful boys came running in SOAKING wet, laughing, and yelling "GOOD EVENING TEACHER!" *we learned that phrase in class yesterday* Since there were only 3, we just reviewed the lesson from yesterday and then went over color and animal flashcards on Sarah's iPad. They LOVE the flashcards and they really help the children remember the names of things. 

Okay so let's focus on the whole feet thing for a moment. If you know me well, you know I HAVE to have clean feet. I'll wash them all day everyday. I'll wear socks all around. I'll use wipes. I can't go to bed without washing them *my room mate can confirm that statement* One might say I'm slightly OCD when it comes to my hygiene and my feet are a huge part of my cleanliness. 

So this whole barefooted thing is kinda throwing me off. 

When you walk into a house or into someone's room, you remove your shoes. 

That means the floors are covered with all the germs from every place that everyone in the house has been... the same floor that is used to prepare the food. Yeah. I was trying not to think about it too hard. But then I did, and guess what. *big surprise* I figured out how to apply it to my life. 

Don't you want dirty feet?

Don't you want to have traveled?

Don't you want to have entered houses and rooms?

Don't you want to share in fellowship?

Don't you want to live in community?

Don't you want to love people?

Yeah me too. 

Dirty feet here I come.

Slowly, but surely. 

I'll still wash them before bed...

Baby steps y'all. 

Tomorrow we get to sleep in a little bit *if we can* and meet at the school at 8:30. From there we will go out with all the students and go from door to door handing our cards that allow the person one free doctor's visit. I forgot to mention earlier that we are in the presence of 3 doctors who run a clinic that is in front of the school. *so feel comforted mom and dad* Their names are Selah, Tolah, and Dr. Yin. Selah and Tolah are recent graduates of medical school *eight years for medical school here* and are in their late 20's. Dr. Yin is very old and he is shown absolute respect by everyone. He is very wise *from what I can tell* and is always smiling. He has helped so many people in the school but there is one man I want to focus on for a moment.

He is pretty short and walks with a slight limp. When we first met him, there seemed to be something wrong with his hands and he couldn't move them as easily as others. When he spoke I was shocked. His voice is extremely messed up. It's very high and squeaky and hoarse. I can't really explain it. It wasn't until 2 nights ago that we discovered he had been in a severe accident at a sewing factory where he worked. He suffered from an electrical shock that left him handicapped and without a voice. He came to the clinic and was a patient for a long time. Dr. Yin helped him gain movement in his hands and now they can function almost normally. He was also able to get the man his voice back, it's not the same voice, but it is a voice. The man is now a student at the school and has been attending English lessons everyday. He is such a joy and has such a desire to learn. 

Sarah and I both agreed that it's hard to think about the fact that this man lost the ability to speak, use his hands, and the chance to ever work again. All because he was making clothes that I wear and get rid of and mess up and throw away and get tired of and buy excess of...

It's really hard to think about. 

But it's absolutely real life. 

Perspective.

The goal for tomorrow is to evangelize to the people as we hand out the cards. Sarah and I will have no way to communicate with these people but we can go and observe for sure. I cannot wait, I feel like it will definitely be an eye-opening experience

This trip seems to be full of those.

But it's such a joy getting to be the hands and feet of Christ here.

And guess what?

You're earthly hands don't have to work in order to love Jesus. 

And your feet don't have to be clean in order to share His love.

I'm slowly learning that.

So thank you Lord for hands, feet, and vivid dreams.

Love always,

Cassie

Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Fish Eyes

Good morning America, you all are just now waking up and I am climbing into bed.

*Although I won't get to post this until your Thursday is done*

Day four is gone with the wind.

Sarah slept last night. HOORAY! She has been in dire need of some z's and hasn't been getting them. At all. So I'm so happy she felt a little more rested today. 

This morning we discussed insects in class.

That was interesting. 

It was the same process we used when naming meats. You know, the whole:

Me: Do you know what a butterfly is?

Class: *blank stares*

Me: *Uses google and finds picture*

Class: Ahhh *Khmer word for butterfly*

This process was repeated. A lot. 

Then, for some strange reason, I decided that we could learn fruits.

Did you know that Cambodia has completely different fruits than America?

Duh, Cassie.

We had a list of shared fruits and then they began asking how to say Cambodian fruits in English... I had absolutely no idea how to find the American name for it. But luckily one of the students went and got Tolah's laptop and brought it back to look up the fruits and show me pictures. It was definitely a challenge trying to find the English words for all of these fruits. At one point *pre-laptop* they were trying to say milk fruit but it was coming out mill fruit. I, of course, had no idea what they were trying to describe to me. Then one boy took me outside and showed me a tree with all this fruit on it. I still had no idea. That's when the laptop was brought in. 

Thank you Lord for technology.

Srey Nam bought a pineapple and so we had a lot of sentences formed about the pineapple during our fruit session. Then she cut it for all of us and we ate it. One student *in Sarah's class* told us not to eat too much of it. We asked why and they all began speaking in Khmer trying to figure out how to answer us in English. Then one boy popped out from the other room and shouted:

"Diarrhea!"

We all had a good laugh over that one. 

But hey, at least he knows some English right?

Lunch was... interesting.

We had something called "Sour Soup"

I was excited, anticipating something like Hot and Sour Soup.

Oh no, not quite. 

It looked pretty normal. Waterlilies all piled at the top and broth surrounding them. There was some white fleshy stuff so I assumed that to be fish. No problem. I can do fish. So I scooped a heaping spoonful and put it on my plate... BAD IDEA. As I went to put the spoon back in the bowl, I saw something that made me turn pale. *Yes I'm being dramatic* There, staring back at me, was a huge fish eye. Upon further inspection I realized that the entire fish was nestled under those waterlilies. 

I couldn't breathe. 

What was I going to do?

I literally had just lost my appetite.

I looked at Sarah and mouthed "I can't do it"

*Side note: Sarah and I have this awesome thing going where we have opposite tastes. She will like (or at least tolerate) a dish while I can't even smell it and I can eat something that completely grosses her out. It's absolutely God-given and we are so grateful for it. This way, we can both eat enough of each dish so that it looks like we ate a lot of the food prepared for us. We would hate to be offensive.*

Okay so back to the story.

As soon as I mouthed those words to Sarah, she immediately came to my rescue. 

We were suddenly the only ones in the kitchen so I threw the stuff I had just put on my plate onto her plate and carried on eating the zucchini-type-vegetable that I had on my plate. She kept scooping up more and more of the soup and I continued eating the other non-fish-eyed dish. I didn't realize that she had no idea what she was eating; she couldn't see the eyes from her angle. I didn't tell her about the eyes until we got back to our hotel for our afternoon nap. 

She screamed. 

We were laughing so hard and tears were streaming down our faces.

Lesson learned?

Friends don't let friends eat fish eyes.

My bad Sarah.

As Sarah and I were sitting outside watching the boys play volleyball before the children came for class, I came to a conclusion. 

My Views on Homesickness:

I'm going to go home eventually. 

Yes, it won't be for 7 more weeks. 

But I am going home.

I'll get to be with the people I love.

It will be wonderful. 

Until then?

Why wouldn't I live in the moment?

Why wouldn't I learn Khmer?

Why wouldn't I experience a culture that it totally different from my own?

It's seems so simple, I just didn't figure it out until now. 

On a slightly different note:

I feel like I finally understand how I should look forward to Heaven.

I've always been extremely excited about it, but I've never fully longed for it because I'm content with my life here on earth. 

That's not how it should be at all. 

I need to long for it.

I need to feel absolutely homesick. 

I need to talk to God everyday and long to be home with him.

Yes I can make the most of my life here on earth and live it to the fullest. 

But I need to know I'm going home.

And I cannot wait.

"All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus. This is not where I belong." 

So on that note, I hope you all had a blessed Thursday. Mine was pretty great.

Love,

Cassie 

Fish Sauce and Monsoons

[Wednesday June 12]

Two words.

Fish. Sauce.

I can't handle it y'all. 

They eat it all the time but I can't bring myself to eat it.

It's really gross.

I can eat everything else!

Mint (tastes like cilantro)

*You would hate it Dad*

Water lily

Cucumber (sweeter than the ones back home)

Mango (crunchier and a lot starchier)  

Onions

Garlic

Rice (all day everyday)

Banana flower (no idea how to describe it)

Pumpkin (different than our pumpkin, but delicious) 

I can even eat the meat that is prepared

*not a lot of it, but I can eat it*

I just cannot do fish sauce. 

I could eat it in it's beginning stages because all that it is is lime juice (they call it lemon), garlic, and salt *I think* and maybe one or two more things. But as soon as Sokhom's sister takes the bowl into the back as a clear liquid and brings it back as a black sauce... I. Am. Done. 

I LOVE the food here though. It's the freshest food I've ever eaten. Nothing is prepackaged or full of preservatives. Everything is straight off the tree or out of the ground or off the stalk or out of an animal I guess. 

Today was so much better than yesterday. I know I say this all the time, but love my class. I really do. They make me laugh 24/7. Today we discussed vegetables in the morning [they asked about them] and then we talked about different kinds of meat [which kinda led into animals] in the afternoon. It's so fun because I will say a vegetable or meat and they won't understand so I'll google a picture of it and they'll all cry out the Khmer word for it. I'll *attempt* to say the word in Khmer and then I'll say the English word and they'll *attempt* to say the English word back. It's a wonderful process and I was told today that I speak very good Khmer. I'm honored. 

I'm proud to say that Sarah and I were invited to sit on the mat today. We were handed knives and shown how to peel waterlilies. By the end, we were pros. *kinda* We can't wait to come back and cook for all of our friends... It's a whole new way of cooking, that's for sure. We'll have to buy a mat first. 

This afternoon, while we were resting back at our hotel before the afternoon session, there was a HUGE storm. Poor Sarah, she was trying to sleep because she hasn't been able to. The wind was shaking the windows so badly and the rain and thunder were so loud. 

Rainy season. It's real too. 

The children were as wonderful as ever. They are so funny, I can't get over it. Sokhom's niece's daughter's name is Cha Keon and she is PRECIOUS. She has been sitting in on my morning English class, since she only has school in the afternoon, and she is a better English speaker than a lot of those boys. During breaks she will come sit by us and ask "what is it" and point to different things. Once we tell her what it is, she tells us the Khmer word for it. I feel like we are going to be good friends. 

I just want to give a quick shout out to Phillip Phillips for writing his song "Home." God absolutely spoke through good ol' Phill's words today. Seriously. This song was exactly what I needed. New trip theme song for sure.

Hold on to me as we go. As we roll down this unfamiliar road. 

Just know you're not alone cause I'm gonna make this place you're home. 

Settle down, it will all be clear. 

Don't pay no mind to the demons, they fill you with fear.

The trouble, it might drag you down. 

If you get lost, you can always be found. 

Just know you're not alone. 

I'm gonna make this place you're home. 

Gosh. 

Amen.

I love my barefooted friends here. God is so alive in them. 

I can't wait to see where he leads me.

I can't wait to see how he makes this place my home. 

So much love, 

Cassie 

Those white things are waterlilies. DELISH. 

Inner Dolphins

[Tuesday June 11]

Well it's 3:00 and the class is on break and Sarah and I are mid breakdown. 

This homesickness thing is real life y'all. 

Srey Nam was talking to us earlier about missing our moms. My tears were in my throat. She said she went to the Philippines for a week and said she was so homesick and that she couldn't imagine being here for 7 weeks. But then she said that her mom is now living in the states and she misses her so much.

It's comforting to know that Sarah and I are not alone. 

I've always heard people talk about culture shock but I just assumed it to be that eye-opening experience that you get when you drive down the streets and it's really dirty and everyone is poor. [Harsh, but I'm being completely honest] And yes that is part of it, but culture shock is more of learning how to step into something that has been the same way for a lonnnnnnng time. This culture has been functioning and deepening for many many MANY years and I'm just now showing up. 

It's so weird to feel like you don't matter.

Don't get me wrong though. Worth is completely different from whether you matter or not. Or to me it is anyway. I don't know if any of that makes sense. Oh well. 

Anyways, here's an analogy:

So everyday lunch is prepared on the mats on the floor. A bunch of people help and everyone sits around and speaks in Khmer to each other. They are laughing and joking around... all in Khmer and Sarah and I have NO idea what is happening. And they don't care. They care about us as people, but whether we understand what is happening or not doesn't necessarily matter to them. Culture is the same way. It's a continuing process and you just kind of have to jump in. It's like what I talked about in my post about the kitchen table life. It's all about effort.

EFFORT.

So all of this to say that yes, we are homesick and it's such a real feeling. I don't think we necessarily thought about being homesick before we came. Or at least I didn't. But it's real and it's an adjustment. I'm so bad at adjusting. But you know what? I am absolutely learning how to do it better that's for sure. And I don't want you guys to think we're miserable. Because we aren't. AT ALL. It's so wonderful here and the people are all so beautiful. It's just hard not to miss home. But we keep having to remind ourselves that it is ONLY the second day. SECOND DAY. This is a lot like having endorphins. 

Or INNER DOLPHINS as I like to call them.

*cough* blog post title *cough* *cough*

It's a marathon not a sprint. It's a daily thing. At first you hurt and you question. But once you get into a rhythm, it becomes natural. 

And the whole culture shock thing?

You can choose to be the outsider that drives by and points and the person that sits in a chair on the outside of the mat. Or you can get out and walk on the sidewalk. You can take off your shoes and join the people on the map. 

I just keep having to remember that. 

So 3 cheers for our inner dolphins. They'll get the rhythm soon enough. 

Love always,

Cassie 

*Side note: my class remembers how to say it because it sounds like taxi*

Day Two is Through or Threw or Thru

[Tuesday June 11]

I hope you find the English humor in the title of my post.

I think it's funny. 

So day two has come to an end and day three is on it's way. 

Minus the mid-afternoon breakdown, day two went really really well. 

I think we're finally getting into the teaching rhythm which ROCKS,

In my afternoon session we played a game that they explained to me.

That whole process was very very interesting. 

Lot's of hand motions and pointing. 

Basically what it entailed was me writing words down as they told me and then two of them going up to the board at the same time and racing to find the word that I called out. It was INSANE. We laughed and they cheered each other on and pointed and gave directions to each other in Khmer. We were so loud but there was no way I was going to tell them to be quiet, we we're bonding by laughing. My favorite way to bond. 

Here is one of the boys looking for a word. He was blocking the other student so he couldn't find the word before him.

I hate that I don't know names, It's just so hard to say some of them in English. But I am determined to learn them one way or another. 

They are all so precious and so eager to learn. That is definitely what makes it worth it.  

We taught the children again today and again, I was blown away by how smart they all are. They knew the songs Jesus Loves Me, Father Abraham, and If You Love Jesus. So we sang them all. It was so fun! After we sang we jumped right into the lesson. I'll point to a picture and read a sentence and Sarah will write it on the board. Then they repeat the sentence right back to me in unison and then they write it in their notebooks. Then we repeat the process and then move on to the next picture. It's very easy and they love to learn so that makes it fun. Plus they are hilarious. There are two boys that write the sentences down really fast and then play around at the table. They are constantly making us laugh. 

Tonight Sarah and I are sleeping in the same room in order to save money due to the electricity and air conditioner. Plus, we won't be so lonely. We've been reading the devotional book "Jesus Calling" everyday and let me tell you. It is on point. God is so good at that. It has really helped us focus and lean more on him as well as remain encouraged.

I think that is going to be a huge part of my trip. My relationship with God definitely needs some one-on-one work and what better place to do it than a country who's language you cannot speak. He's one of the few I can talk to. I'm so excited. 

Sarah and I prayed for a really long time together and that helped a lot. 

And remember. 

It's not that we want to go home.

We love it here and we know that the work that we are doing is so helpful.

It's just all so new.

But we're getting there. Everyday gets easier and easier for sure. 

So see you later day two. It's been fun.

Blessings,

Cassie

Here's my classroom! Love those boys. 

This is my view everyday... Except all of the chairs are full of eager students.