Truen Luig Knyome Luang

It's the middle of our Monday and the middle of our first day of our fourth week. I can't believe it's July 1st. In 8 days, Sarah and I will have been here for a month.. WHAT?

It's crazy that we live here. 

Yesterday was an absolutely glorious day. 

And yes, I'll tell you all about it. 

We got picked up for church and arrived at the school a little before service started. We visited with everyone and with the children. We were expecting to be teaching the children again, but Srey Nang told us that Chanty was teaching them so that we could worship with our friends that were coming. 

Mallory and Shanleigh were coming to church! 

WE WERE ECSTATIC.

Mallory and Shanleigh are friends from ACU that are also in the WorldWide Witness program. They were in class with Sarah and I and are also working here in Phnom Penh this summer. They are working with Dennis and Sharon Welch who run the SNACK program, which is a program takes food out into the villages and feeds the children healthy and vitamin-rich foods that help reduce malnutrition. *I think that's a run-on sentence, but I don't care* We haven't been able to see them at all because our schedules are crazy and traffic is crazy and life is crazy. You know. So we were so happy to know that they were coming to church. 

It was a glorious reunion and we were able to meet Sharon and Dennis, as well as their adopted daughter, Theary. *Teary* 

We worshiped *in Khmer* and heard Sokhom preach. Dennis was even invited to finish Sokhom's sermon so he stepped up and preached as well. It was so fun to see my students leading singing, prayers, and communion. But the best part was when Srun began passing out the little yellow songbooks that are full of English worship songs. He got to me and whispered "Amazing Grace" excitedly. Then, with all that they had, they began singing Amazing Grace in English. 

Y'all. 

I almost cried right there next to Srey Nang. 

I taught them the words to the song last week and now they were singing it during church. We went through all the verses. 

No, it was not done in perfect English.

But it was sung absolutely from the heart.

It was beautiful. 

*Proud teacher moment* 

We finished service and then chatted with everyone, made introductions, and caught up with Mallory and Shanleigh. Then we headed to lunch with Dennis, Sharon, Theary, and the girls. We stopped by the bus station on the way to the restaurant and bought our bus tickets for our trip this weekend. *Sarah and I are going with Sharon, Theary, Mallory, and Shanleigh to a town called Siem Riep for the weekend* Then we went to the restaurant that they had picked for us to try. It was a vegetarian restaurant that served food made completely out of mushrooms. It was very interesting and very delicious. They have a million different kinds of mushrooms here and some taste like different meats. Yes it's weird. But it was so good! We had some fried ones that tasted like chicken. We had a "hamburger," as well as fried rice with mushrooms and noodles with mushrooms. We drank Khmer tea and iced coffee with milk. *remember it's made with sweetened condensed milk* It was a delicious lunch and we enjoyed getting to know Sharon, Dennis, and Theary better. They asked us our favorite, least favorite, and most surprising/most unprepared for things since we've been here. Those were hard questions but I immediately knew my favorite part: my students. I love the relationships that I'm making and I love learning *even though it's the hardest part* how to speak to their hearts. I didn't really have a least favorite, except maybe the fact that I get sick a lot. My stomach just can't handle all the flavors here. The most surprising thing was definitely those first 3 days... I was so homesick and I was completely unprepared. In all my preparation for this trip, I hadn't even thought about homesickness. But I learned how to change my outlook early on, so that has been wonderful. Yes, I miss my family. And my friends. And my bed. And my cat. But I'll see them soon. Until then, I'm completely Khmer.

They told us about their struggles and victories in moving here and learning how to minister to these people. 

It was a great lunch and soon it was time to go. They took us to Mallory and Shanleigh's apartment and we said goodbye. We climbed a million flights of stairs and finally reached their apartment. *the higher you live, the wealthier you are* We were given a quick tour, changed out of our church clothes, and then headed back down the millions of stairs. We reached the street and they showed us around their neighborhood and led us to the Russian Market. The Russian Market is a HUGE maze thing that is covered *kind of under a huge tent* and is full of vendors that sell everything. Clothes, shoes, food, bags, jewelry, furniture... everything. We shopped around and they taught Sarah and I the art of haggling. I was to scared to try it yesterday, but someday I'll be able to be assertive. Until then, thanks girls for helping us not pay over $5 for anything. 

After the Russian Market, we wandered the streets and tried different food from food carts. We had grilled bananas and some kind of baked crepe thing that tasted like a fortune cookie. We had so much fun just wandering around and looking like idiots taking pictures of ourselves. We finally made it back to their apartment and our gracious hostesses made us all smoothies to help us cool off. We all sat and talked for a long time. It was so wonderful to just talk about our experiences and share stories. You don't realize how much you miss having stuff in common with people. 

Once it started to get closer to dinner time, we walked out to the street and hopped on a tuk tuk that was riverside-bound. We got to the riverside *even though there was a torrential downpour* and found the restaurant we wanted to eat at. It was called Viva and it served Mexican and Khmer food. 

It was heavenly. 

You never know what you have until it's gone. 

And let me tell you... 

I now know that I'm in love with Mexican food. 

After dinner *and the rainstorm* we walked down the street and past a million restaurants and little shops. On the other side of the insanely busy road, is the river and a huge park area that runs the length of the river. There were thousands and thousands of people out and enjoying the cool weather and beautiful sunset. We walked through the Night Market which is exactly like the Russian Market, except that it's only open at night and it's all open. After the Night Market, we *very carefully and very quickly* crossed the street and ended up in the park area. There were people everywhere and so many things going on. My favorite evening activity that was taking place, was the evening aerobics class. There was a man leading it and a ton of women, all wearing red, following his every move. It was hilarious and Mallory and I joined in for a moment. 

We kept walking and talking until we reached their favorite ice cream shop called "Toto's." It was definitely designed to appeal to Westerners, and believe me, it appealed to me. It was all white and robin's egg blue inside. The seat cushions were robin's egg blue and polka dots and the lampshades had pastel teapots all over them. It was seriously the cutest little ice cream parlor. We sampled a bunch of kinds, including mangosteen, *my favorite Cambodian fruit* and finally decided on a variety of flavors. I had a scoop of strawberry sorbet, Sarah had tiramisu *sorry if that's spelled wrong* and coffee almond, Shanleigh had coconut and jackfruit, and Mallory had coffee and chocolate. We talked about our thoughts on being here and shared more experiences, victories, and struggles. 

After the ice cream, we said goodbye and hopped on our separate tuk tuks.  

It was seriously the best day ever. 

We kept talking about community and how desperately it's needed by people. We take it for granted back in the states, but it's such a necessary part of life. It's so comforting to know you have people that care about you and have experienced the same things you have and have struggled with the same things you have. 

We got lost on our tuk tuk ride back, but it's okay. We survived and made it home around 8:30.

Our day was full of community and it was absolutely wonderful. 

This morning came entirely too early, but we woke up and made it downstairs by 6:35 so we could FaceTime with our families for an hour. It was so wonderful to get to see and talk with them. Veesna arrived with the tuk tuk and we headed to school. 

We reviewed and then learned more vocabulary words this morning. It was an interesting experience *no surprise there* but we made it through 2 hours and learned 6 new words.

 

Limb

Complete

Frequently

Mock

Earn

Ignore  

We had lunch at 10:15 and then sat and visited with everyone. Sythourn brought his guitar *after we requested him to* and songbook down and put on a concert for us. He played a lot of worship songs in Khmer and I recognized a couple of the tunes. Then he played "You Raise Me Up" and sang it in Khmer. 

It was beautiful. 

As he sang, I looked around at all of my new friends and thought about all my friends at home. I thought about my community in Abilene and my Cambodian community. 

I am so blessed. 

I am completely surrounded by people that love me and raise me up daily. 

I am completely surrounded by incredibly beautiful people.

As he sang "truen luig knyome luang"

I thanked God for all the people in my life and for their ability to raise me up. 

So if you're reading this, thank you. 

Truen luig kynome luang.

You raise me up. 

Love you all SO much,

Cassie  

Peaks and Valleys

So sorry I haven't blogged in a couple of days. 

I just get so tired at night.

Lame excuse, I know. And I apologize for that.

But it's real. 

Thursday was great. 

Much better than my Wednesday of mishaps.

I went into the classroom that morning with a positive attitude and cheerful heart. *because that's the way that a day should start... shout out to all my HYG friends* 

We played a game that used all of their direction giving/receiving skills. I made them come up in pairs and had one of them close their eyes. While their eyes were closed, their partner would arrange a maze of chairs in front of them and then direct them through the maze using only English. It was so funny to watch as they both struggled. I even had a turn. I may or may not have let them play for the entire hour. That afternoon I began teaching them vocabulary words and they really enjoyed those. I taught them the definition of "matching" and we played a lot of matching games with the newly learned words and definitions. It was pretty funny trying to explain the definitions of some of these words, but they were troopers and we learned 10 new words. The rest of the day was typical; full of laughter, communication struggles, and interesting food. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Friday came and we were thrilled to have the weekend a day away. 

My students wanted more vocabulary words. 

I was excited. 

By the end of class Friday afternoon, they had learned 23 words and could match them with their definitions. Can they write sentences using the words yet? Eh. Not so much... 

Baby steps. 

Okay, so I have a confession. 

One of the vocabulary words was "peak."

You know like the top of the mountain?

Well they got that down. 

But a certain 19 year old English teacher may have taught them that "peak" also means the same thing as "peek" because that certain 19 year old English teacher forgot that you spelled "peek" differently from "peak."

Whoops. 

I guess 12 Cambodian boys will now believe that peek is spelled peak. 

Cassie White: Failing at spelling since 1994. 

We finished up our Friday at the school and then headed back to the hotel to enjoy a nice bag of popcorn and an orange Fanta. 

Hooray for Friday nights and that top level of the food pyramid. 

Today is Saturday and Sarah and I just got back from a day out and about with Roth *pronounced: Rote* and Selah.

We were kind of politely uninvited to the village today.

I think my vomiting episode kind of ruined our chances of ever going back out there. Although, I'm not tooooo upset about that. 

We slept in until 8:30 *WOOHOO*

The boys picked us up at 10:00 and we headed to the S-21 museum. 

We drove through town and I slipped some motion sickness pills out of my pocket. We got to an intersection and came across a huge parade *they are called street parties here* that was blocking traffic. It was a promotional parade for the Cambodia's People Party which is the party of the current Prime Minister of Cambodia. They will have and election to vote for a new Prime Minister in a month, so there is a TON of promoting going on. 

Roth and Selah were not only annoyed with the flamboyancy of this parade, but also with the whole party itself. They went on to tell us that the party is for rich people and is absolutely corrupt. A rich person can commit murder and pay their way out of it, while a poor person can commit the smallest crime and end up in prison for life. They said that they both will be voting against the Prime Minister, but it's a lost cause. He'll win again. Roth then said something that I was not prepared to hear. He said that maybe all of these horrible leaders was God's way of punishing Cambodia because they do not believe in him. 

Well how on earth are you supposed to respond to that?

I unfortunately didn't have time to because he immediately began to make a joke. He told us that if you wanted to know about Cambodia, all you had to do was look at the traffic. It's crazy and unorganized. Street signs and laws are ignored. You want to drive on the wrong side of the road? Go for it. The lines are merely a suggestion. The laws are merely a suggestion. 

The parade finally ended and the topic was soon dropped. 

But I kept thinking about what Roth said. 

And this world is a lot like Cambodia's streets. 

Crazy.

Unorganized. 

Corrupt.

Unjust. 

Selfish. 

And so dangerous. 

I look around here and think to myself:

Guys. There is a stop sign there for a reason!

I'm sure God looks down and thinks:

Children. I gave you this commandment for a reason!

We are so dumb sometimes.

We can't agree on anything. 

We conveniently look over laws. 

We live incredibly selfish lives.

We cross lines.

We, as humans, are just like the traffic here. 

But it's so wonderful to be loved by such a forgiving God. 

And it's so comforting to know this is not our home. 

So that was my 45 minute ride through the streets of Phnom Penh. 

We finally arrived at the Genocide Museum and went inside. 

It's official name is Tuol Sleng and it was security office 21 in "Democratic Kampuchea." It was a high school-turned prison created by Pol Pot in 1975 and designed for detention, interrogation, inhumane torture, and killings once the prisoner confessed. There are 4 buildings that surround a courtyard and each building houses many prison cells that were constructed out of wood and bricks. The building are 3 stories high and are covered in fishnet barbwire in order to prevent prisoners from jumping off the balconies and committing suicide. 

So basically it's a really dark place. 

Each room had a bed and a torture instrument in it for visitors to see. It was incredibly eerie. There were signs posted around by the museum facilitators *not sure if that's the right word* that depicted a man laughing with a huge red "x" through his mouth. We assumed that to mean that we shouldn't laugh. But believe me, you didn't feel like laughing. There were huge displays of all of the pictures of the prisoners. Men, women, children. It was really hard to see. 

It's just so frustrating to me that this event in history was never explained to me. It may be because it's a fairly recent event, but still. It's frustrating that my generation knows nothing about it. 

We stayed for about an hour and then headed to our next destination. 

Mike's Hamburger House. 

Sokhom told us about this place and said that it was the best hamburger in town. And let me tell you. it was. We walked in and ordered for ourselves and then thought to order for our kind hosts. *stupid Americans* We all found a table and I went to get drinks for Roth and Selah. As I was at the coke machine, struggling to work the thing *stupid American*, a man came up to me and *with surprisingly good English* told me how to do it and gave me the right cup. *I picked up the to-go cup instead* He then asked where I was from and if this was my first time to Cambodia and to the hamburger shop. We chatted for a while and then he introduced himself as THE Mike. It was Mike.. the hamburger guy! I felt like I was talking to a celebratory. He told me how his restaurant had been featured in the news all over and even in the New York Times. 

I was impressed.

We talked for a while longer and then he told me to enjoy my hamburger because it was going to be the best I've ever had. And let me tell you. 

It was. 

So thank you Mike. 

Thank you for giving me a little taste of home. 

Did it make me sick to my stomach?

Absolutely. 

Was it worth it?

Absolutely. 

I stopped on my way out and told Mike that he was right. 

I also told him that I would be back. 

Ah.

I love Mike the burger man. 

After the hamburger, we drove quite a ways and reached another museum. This one was called Choeung Ek and it was a literal killing field during Pol Pot's reign. We paid *native Cambodians get in free to the museums* and picked up our headsets. This museum had an hour long guided tour and it was incredible. The area that we were in was once an orchard and there were many fruit trees still in the area. It was so green and extremely peaceful since there was no talking allowed. Sarah and I made our way past mass grave sites, trees that served as killing tools, and cases full of bones and clothes that still continue to appear in the ground during the rainy season. It was an extremely saddening walk through that area and the stories and information that were shared via the headset, were both horrendous and inspiring. It was awful listening to all the ways that they killed the prisoners there, but the stories told by the survivors were incredible. We ended the tour at a huge monument known as the Memorial Stupa. It is 17 *I think* levels *not stories* tall and each level displays the remains of the victims. The first 10 levels hold over 9,000 skulls and then other bones fill the top levels. 

It's unreal. 

*If you look to the right of this post, you'll see a link that will direct you to my Flickr account. There, you can see pictures that I took today*

Once we were done, we all headed back to the car. 

Selah had been to the museums several times, but it was Roth's first time today. They both talked about how their parents talk about the Khmer Rouge a lot. Roth said that his grandmother always cries when someone mentions it though. 

The affects of this Genocide are still very present here in Cambodia. 

It's heartbreaking to realize that this country is still very broken and very fragile. 

The boys dropped us off at the hotel and we reseted and did laundry until it was dinner time. *Although, I was still incredibly full from lunch* We went to the school and had a dinner of chicken, banana  flower, and rice. 

Ah Cambodia cuisine. 

I might miss you. 

We talked with Sokhom about his experiences in prison during Pol Pot's reign. It's so incredible to go and see all of this and then talk to a someone who witnessed it firsthand. It's unreal. 

After dinner we headed back and now it's time for bed. I'm up late tonight *it's 9:00* but Sarah is already asleep. 

It was an emotional day.

Kind of like a roller coaster.

Up.

Down.

Up.

Down.

But then again. 

So is life. 

There are evil people.

There is corruption.

There are genocides.

There is war. 

There is brokenness. 

Life is full of peaks and valleys.

But God is present at every peak.

And he's holding your hand in every valley. 

Blessings,

Cassie

Ps Who really cares if it's spelled peak or peek. 

Don't Cry Over Fried Chicken

Wednesday has come and gone.

This morning we learned about asking and giving instructions. 

We learned the different phrases and then I decided to be spontaneous.

As soon the last student put their pencil down, I walked to the door and told them to follow me. Of course, they just looked at me like I was crazy. But I repeated myself and then walked outside. Slowly, but surely, they followed me and we headed out to the road. Once we were conveniently in the middle of the road *traffic just goes around you here* I asked them how to get to the river. Ah ha! Now they understood why their crazy English teacher made them come outside. They had to use their newly learned direction-giving skills and tell me. I repeated this process with different destinations and they passed with flying colors. 

We headed back inside and found out that Sarah's class was making fun of us.

Whatever.

We have more fun. 

So my class learned how to ask, give and receive directions. 

They also learned the definition for field trip.        

We might be taking more of those. 

In between lunch and nap time, we sat in the common area and all talked, laughed, and made fun of each other. I sure do love these people. 

After lunch, it was time to head to the hotel so everyone could rest before the afternoon session at 2:00. All the cars were being used, so that left the tuk tuk...

Don't get me wrong.

I love the tuk tuk. 

It's just kind of hard to jump up in.

Especially with a skirt on.

And short legs. 

So we headed to the tuk tuk and I prepared to jump up without falling as well as not offending anyone. Well. I was able to not offend anyone.

But as for the falling part?

Not so much.

I fell and managed to take the seats down with me. 

It was so embarrassing.

Of course I would break the tuk tuk. 

But everyone had a good laugh and fixed the seat.

No worries, it had just come unhinged. 

Good one Cassie. 

After nap time, I began my afternoon session with a quick pronunciation review as well as a tongue twister. Well it didn't go too well. Everyone was still waking up and no one wanted to participate or talk to me...

So I erased the board and began again. 

I decided to teach them the art of buying and selling and how to communicate while buying and selling. 

Turns out I already taught them that. 

Cool. 

I erased the board. 

Again. 

They told me to write question sentences. 

So I did. 

Then they asked me to explain the difference between whom and who.

I don't even know that!

I googled the differences and tried my best to explain it to them.

They were not understanding.

I was not understanding.

It was not my finest hour. 

I let them go on and break. 

And I had break down at the kitchen table. 

I can't teach English! 

I can't teach them everything!

I can't come up with lessons!

I was overwhelmed. 

Sarah listened to me vent and then whipped out Jesus Calling.

Bless her. 

It said:

"Stay calmly conscious of Me today, no matter what. Remember that I go before you as well as with you into the day. Nothing takes Me by surprise. I will not allow circumstances to overwhelm you so long as you look to Me. I will help you cope with whatever the moment presents. Collaborating with Me brings blessings that far outweigh all your troubles. Awareness of My Presence contains Joy that can endure all eventualities."

Ah. 

Funny how it always fits. 

So I went back into that classroom fully aware that God's presence contains joy that can endure anything. 

We played hangman for the rest of class. 

You can't learn English in a day.

And sometimes, you just have to rest. 

After class and then our evening class with the children, Sarah and I enjoyed a nice meal of fried chicken and rice. We almost cried when we saw that golden crust on that chicken. It was beautiful. We enjoyed our meal and then headed back to the hotel. 

So no, today was not one full of my finest hours. 

I broke the tuk tuk.

I failed at teaching. 

Like 4 times. 

I was nearly brought to tears at the sight of fried chicken. 

But that's okay. 

Not everyday is full of rainbows and "butterplys."

But we're all learning.

And God is the best teacher around. 

Sweet dreams America.

I love you all,

Cassie 

Sore Faces

Tuesday of week three is over.

Can you believe it?

Week three.

THREE. 

We only have four more here in Cambodia. 

CRAZY.

Today was wonderful.

As usual.

And full of laughter. 

As usual. 

This morning my students wanted to practice having a conversation with me up in front of the class. They wanted to test their newly acquired conversation skills. So one by one *minus 4 super shy students* they came up to the front and we had a conversation. 

They all follow the same pattern and go something like this:

Hello

Hello

What is your name?

My name is ___. And you?

My name is ___. Nice to meet you.

How are you today?

I am fine, thank you. And you?

I am fine, thank you. 

After that, the student will begin to rattle off questions like:

How many members are in your family?

How many brothers and sisters do you have?

How old are you?

What is your job?

What is your favorite sport?

What do you do in your free time?

Where are you from?

Where were you born?

And the list goes on. 

So this is what we were doing today, but my students have gotten a little more confident. They began asking questions like:

How old are you parents?

*sorry mom, I gave them your real age*

What do you like about Cambodia?

Do you like America or Cambodia more?

And so on and so forth.

And then.

Srun asked the question I had been waiting for. 

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

*relationships are big here and everyone is basically either dating or married*

They all laughed and waited for an answer.

Ah. 

I laughed and said no.

He was quick with his next question.

"Why not?"

What was I supposed to do?

I couldn't look like the 19 year old loser that I am.

So I quickly answered:

"I broke up with him."

Now before everyone gets mad at me for lying, I need to clarify something.

When I had a boyfriend in the 8th grade, I was going to break up with him on Tuesday. But someone told him that and I got the breakup phone call from him on Monday night. 

So technically, I did break up with my boyfriend.

Yes.

It was 6 years ago.

But it's the truth.

Plus, they didn't ask when I had a boyfriend.

Or when I broke up with him.

So we all had a good laugh and those questions opened a door. Our conversations now include relationship questions as well. 

It's okay though. I learned all about Sythourn's last relationship and how she broke up with him because he was no longer handsome. *poor guy* Liq has a girlfriend *or potential girlfriend...not sure* and wants to take her to the Angkor Temple this weekend, but he gets shy when girls call him handsome. 

They get very bored with English sometimes.

But they want to talk all about their relationships.

And their relationship problems.

That's one thing that doesn't change between cultures. 

We worked on pronunciation this afternoon and then Selah took us to the store to get more breakfast things. Saturday we have the day off and so Selah is going to take us to see the Killing Fields and to "eat hamburger."

We're excited to finally be tourists.

We had 5 new boys attend our evening English class for the children. They were all so cute and a woman we assumed to be their mother and aunt *they didn't all look like siblings, just a couple* accompanied them. She was so excited to have her boys there and we were so excited to have them. One of the boys had cerebral palsy, but that didn't stop him from actively participating in every moment of our lesson. The new students didn't know the words to the songs, but he was the only one that tried to learn the words and the motions. He wrote down every sentence and repeated every word when I asked them to. The mother was so excited for her son to have this opportunity and she helped him whenever he seemed to be struggling. 

I nearly cried. 

It was such a beautiful demonstration of selfless love. 

The mother wasn't concerned with herself in the least bit. All she cared about was that her son was getting an equal opportunity to learn English. An opportunity to grow and thrive and gain knowledge. It was so apparent that she wants the very best that the world has to offer for her son. 

And can you believe that God has even more love for us than this mother has for her son? It's incredible to think about and I'm sure it will be even harder to imagine when I have my own children.  

Duh.

God loves me unconditionally.

Why was I so worried about having to say that I wasn't in a relationship earlier? 

So Srun.

No, I don't have a boyfriend.

But I'm in a pretty incredible relationship. 

And He loves me more than anything.

Seriously.

Sometimes we get hit in the face by the most obvious things.

But.

You know it's been a good day if your face is sore.

Thank you Lord for sore faces.

And thank you Lord for choosing me to pursue. 

Love you all,

Cassie 

Chicken Hearts and Heart-to-Hearts?

I would like to begin this post with an apology. 

I won't name any names  *cough* *cough* Mother *cough* but it has been brought to my attention that I don't capitalize the word English. 

So I apologize to everyone that I may have offended. 

I will try to be better about that.

Anyways. 

Last night I had my first outing since the poisoning incident on Friday. 

Hooray! 

We went to the school for some dinner and much needed fellowship. As soon as we arrived, the students were coming up and checking on me and asking if I felt better. They kept telling me that they prayed every night for me. 

They are seriously the best.

Srey Nang had a rotisserie chicken and a pot of rice ready for us. 

That chicken was the best thing in the world. 

Yes, it still had the legs, claws, and head on it.

But it tasted like home.

*We let Sythourn eat the head*

We ate and chatted.

Srey Nang said that several of my students were really worried about me and asked if they could help me feel better. They are precious. 

Even if they did they call me the weaker teacher compared to Sarah (since I was the one that got sick). 

Whatever.    

My feelings aren't toooo hurt. 

Our night was full of laughter and I loved every minute of it.

It was so nice to feel cared for. 

Monday rocked.

Although, it was quite hot today.

I seriously have never sweated do much in my life.

Hooray for detoxing though...

Right?

*I'm trying to look on the bright side of things as my sweat is forming puddles at my feet. Too much information? I apologize*

The students requested a unit on health since mine has been such a big deal recently. I gladly agreed and we dove into pain and sickness. Somehow the definitions of sneezing and coughing and headaches turned into the definitions of veins and blood and organs. My lesson over health had suddenly turned into an anatomy lesson. 

At one point they were trying to ask what the difference was between the liver and the lungs. But without knowing the word for liver. Or lung. There was a lot of pointing and demonstrating and broken English involved. Finally, Veesna jumped up and ran out of the room. A few seconds went by and he ran back in with a large spatula. He motioned for me to come over and held it out for me to see. 

Well folks. 

There was an animal's *my guess was chicken* heart and lungs fully intact and lying open on the large spatula. 

You can't have an anatomy lesson without a dissection right?

We finally cleared up the difference between having 1 liver and 2 lungs and concluded our morning session. 

After a load of laundry and nap we headed back to the school for the afternoon session. I decided to teach them more conversation skills by helping them with the idea of "making plans." This was a bit abstract and I'm not sure if anyone had any idea what I was trying to say when I asked them if they were free on Friday. But they were troopers and the 2 hours flew by. 

During our hour and a half break between the afternoon session with the students and then our evening English lesson with the children, I sat in the common room area and just listened to everyone talk. Sometimes I'll be able to pick up words and phrases, but most of the time I have no idea what is being said. And it's okay. 

Sythourn then began to ask me questions about my family and life back in America. He asked if I liked to cook and, when I responded yes, he said I must be a very good daughter. *of course I agreed that I was* He said that in order to be a good daughter or son here, you had to be obedient, cook, clean, avoid laziness, and be respectful. He said that he used to not be a good son. I asked him why and he went on to tell me that he disobeyed, fought, got involved with heroin, stayed in other villages, and never listened to his parents. 

I was shocked. 

Sweet little Sythourn? 

He's only 19 years old. 

But then he said he found God and He told Sythourn to stop doing those things and so he stopped and became a good son. I asked him if his parents were happy with him now. He told me that his mother died and his father remarried 6 years ago. They are all Buddhist and when Sythourn tries to share his faith with them, they agree that it sounds great. But Sythourn said that "they still do not believe.. it is so hard."

We kept talking and pretty soon it was time for me to head back to the classroom with Sarah to meet the children. 

But I will never forget that conversation. 

It was my first heart-to-heart here. 

All of my students have their own story.

It's so easy to group them together, but they are all so different.

Different families.

Different home lives.

Different struggles.

Different pain.

Different stories. 

And the way that they all have their own personal and unique history and relationship with God is my favorite part. 

We all worship the same God. 

The God that created each one of us.

The God that makes flowers bloom.

The God that rescues you from your despair.

The God that pulls you out of a pit.

The God that heals you broken heart.

The God that hears each one of us.

The God that is so in love with each one of us.

This trip has showed me a lot of things that I take for granted back home. 

My relationship with God is absolutely one of them.

Everything seems so much simpler here.

So much clearer. 

Christianity is not the norm here.

This is not the Bible Belt like it is back home. 

They don't have to follow God here.

They choose to.

They absolutely love him and desire that relationship with him.

And God is here and so ready to love them.

It's so real. 

I'm figuring out how to take this home because it's contagious. 

*We learned that word today in our health unit*

Complacency is not really present here and I want that word out of my life back home. 

This teacher is being taught a lot. 

I'm slowly learning.

And it rocks.

As the deer pants for the water

So my souls longs after you

You alone are my heart's desire 

And I long to worship you

You alone are my strength my shield 

To you alone may my spirit yield

You alone are my heart's desire

And I long to worship you

I want you more than gold or silver

Only you can satisfy

You alone are the real joy giver

And the apple of my eye

Amen. 

Blessings,

Cassie

Cambodia: 1 Cassie: 0

Well these last few days have been... interesting. 

I'm so sorry I got so far behind.

Like I said, it's been interesting.

Thursday was wonderful, as always. 

It was a pretty typical day, except for the fact that Srey Nang *yes, we've been calling her the wrong name* went with Sokhom to the village. Sokhom took several of the students as well, which depleted our numbers back at the homestead. Sarah only had 2 students and I had like 7 instead of 12. This, coupled with the cloudy day and afternoon rainstorm, was resulting in severe laziness from everyone involved. 

We may have let them out a little early. 

Don't tell.

Dinner was prepared for us by Chanty's wife and it was... interesting. 

For the last half of our afternoon english class, the smell of fried fish was filling the school and Sarah and I were beyond thrilled. We are currently going through withdraws from the deep fried goodness found back home, so this smell was absolutely wonderful and actually quite nostalgic. It was bringing back memories of that time when we could drive to sonic and buy tator tots anytime of the day. Those were the days...

Anyways.

So we were looking forward to dinner.

Then we got our plate. 

The fish was fully scaled.

Tail and head and all. 

There were also some kind of fried bones on the plate. 

Where was Srey Nang?

We had no idea how to eat any of this.

How was I supposed to fillet a fish?

...with a spoon?

We stared at it for a minute and then I attempted to figure it out. I grabbed my spoon and cut the fish down the middle. I scooped out some meat and took a bite.

Then I realized I had just eaten either the liver or stomach. 

*Insert my appetite being lost here*

Thank goodness it was a small fish.

We picked it a part as much as we could and took a couple more bites. 

We ate the meat off the mystery bones and then hid the uneaten fish under the bones. We then cleared our plates and rinsed them in the sink. 

After our interesting dinner, Chanty drove us back to the hotel. On our way, we told him to tell his wife thank you again for making us dinner. He said it was no problem and then said:

"You are our family."

It was wonderful and I almost cried right there in that little white car. 

Friday morning we woke up 5:00 and made it downstairs by 5:15. Selah and Srun came and picked us up at 5:30 and we headed out to the village. It was about a 2 hour drive and it was BEAUTIFUL. It didn't start getting beautiful until we got out of the city and into the countryside though. On the way out of town we had to go through a type of toll thing and then we entered the factory district. Trucks passed by that had beds full of people. They were basically standing on top of each other. These trucks would drop off the workers at their designated factory. There were also tons of workers walking to work. They all had on different colored polos in accordance with their factory. I can't even describe the sight. It was nearly inhumane. 

Sarah and I took all of this in and once we had gotten out of the area, she leaned over and said "I'm never buying clothes again."

It was another slap in the face.

We've been getting a lot of those. 

After we passed through the factory district we started to see more mountains and countryside. Rice fields were EVERYWHERE. They reached all the way to the mountains and there were huge palm trees scattered throughout the fields. I tried to snag pictures but I literally couldn't capture it all. It was breathtaking.

We'd recently watched "The Killing Fields" and so that made the drive a little different as well. It was hard to imagine that this country was once so broken and people were seeking refuge in those mountains. As we passed by abandoned temples or the remains of walls, I couldn't help but wonder if these structures had endured the heartbreak as well. Sokhom witnessed the killing fields first hand. I can't imagine coming back to a country that caused you so much pain. But here is, bringing his own people to Christ.

God has a plan far greater than our own, that's for sure. 

Once we reached the village, we drove on narrow roads to the work site and then got out of the car. The area was surrounded by palm trees and banana trees. There was a small corn field to the right and a tarp set up as a temporary home for 2 construction workers. There seemed to be 2 building spots and we found out later that one was for the preacher's house and the larger one was for the actual church. Shortly after we arrived, Sokhom, his sister, and Srey Nang showed up and told us that the students had been dropped off on the main road to eat breakfast and then they were heading over. We helped unload all the ingredients for lunch and the students started to trickle in.

Sidenote:

I don't think I've been very clear when I've said students. Our original plan was to come and teach english and do VBS type stuff with children. Welll things have kind of changed and we teach the preaching students english everyday. Like I said before, I have 12 in my class and their ages range from 17-22 years old. We teach children in the evening for an hour. If I had been told that I wouldn't be working with kids all day, I may not have come... But now, I enjoy teaching the preaching students more than working with the kids. *Shh don't tell*

God has a plan far greater than our own, that's for sure. 

So all that to say, when I refer to my students, I'm talking about my 12 boys that are all 17-22 and far more intelligent than I am. And yet, they call me teacher. A little intimidating, but they rock my socks. 

Okay, back to Friday.

The boys got to work right away and Sarah and I just kind of stood around and visited with them. We felt bad about not helping but Sam Paul *pronounced Som Paul* told us that it was not a woman's job to participate in manual labor because women have no power. Woman are supposed to cook. 

So shout out to all my guy friends, all your women's rights jokes? Yeah. It's real life over here. If you came over here and told those jokes, everyone would just be like "duh a woman belongs in the kitchen... now where is my sandwich?"  

At one point La called me over and handed me the shovel jokingly and I tried to dig but kinda failed. They all had a good laugh and I went back to my overseeing job. Roth *pronounced kinda like Rote* called me the construction manager and I did not object. 

At one point, Som Paul showed us how to fill the baskets with rocks. He told us that if "you try, you learn." So we tried and learned. But didn't keep that job for very long. 

 

We spent the morning joking around with all the guys as they worked. La was wearing a toboggan type hat and at one point Roth began making fun of him: "We have a great honor today. We are in the presence of a great superstar." *he told us that superstars over here wear toboggans when they sing* It was so funny. I asked La if he was going to sing for us and Roth said he only sings on stage. We were laughing so hard. Chen and Pum climbed the palm trees and threw down coconuts for us to cut open and drink. It was not as sweet as I thought it would be. But with enough sugar in it, it was better.

There was so much laughter and at one point one student asked if another student was okay. He responded with a "I am happy!" 

Music to my ears. 

It was time for a break and of course they made fun of Sarah and I because we always give them a 15 minute break after an hour of english. So they immediately started making fun of our sayings:

"Let's take a break!"

"15 minutes?"

"Who's going to pray?"

It was hilarious. 

We're making friends and it's a beautiful thing.

Pretty soon our lunch of soup and rice and *for some students* ramen noodles was ready. The mats were laid out under the tarp and we all sat down and shared the meal together. It was so wonderful to be sitting on the ground with everyone. 

After lunch, everyone wanted to take a nap and so we just sat and talked with the people that were still awake. Soon, people started to slowly wake up and a hunt was arranged. We joined several students and went out into the little grove of banana trees. They were digging up scorpion and cricket *not your typical black cricket* holes in hopes of finding them, capturing them, and frying them.

No thanks.

But it was fun following them around and being a part of the excitement. 

Then it was time for Sarah and I to go back to the hotel. We were sad about leaving but there wasn't much for us to do so we agreed to be taken back by Selah and Liq. We said our goodbyes and headed out. 

This is were it started to go downhill. 

A list of factors began to form that were all contributing to a not very comfortable Cassie. 

The air wasn't turned on in the car because they don't get hot here. 

I was sitting in the back.

I slowly began to realize that I hadn't had enough water to drink that day and so my mouth was extremely dry. 

I couldn't stay awake. 

It was a 2 hour drive.

Somehow we survived and made it back to the hotel. We sat in the lobby for a minute and the fan blowing directly on us helped some. But once we got back upstairs I could not stay awake at all. I slept for 3 hours and was still exhausted. When I did wake up, I was extremely sick to my stomach. Sarah called Sokhom and told him that we were very tired and that we would jut eat dinner at the hotel and then go to bed. I decided to take a shower and then get into bed. Sarah tried to take a shower but then felt like she was going to pass out, so she decided to skip out on one and just head to bed as well. She soon felt better and we said goodnight.

Oh.

But the night had just begun.

8:00 rolled around and I threw up.

9:00 rolled around and I threw up.

10:00 rolled around and I threw up. 

11:11 make a wish? Yeah. I threw up again. 

12:00? Yup you guessed it. I threw up. 

1:00.. Yes. I did throw up, how did you know?

Let's talk about Sarah and vomit for a second.

She has a phobia y'all. 

It's so real. 

She's been vomit free since '93.

I'm kidding about that last statement. She was born in '94 but I just really like that quote. It's from one of my favorite tv shows. 

...I miss Netflix.

Anyways.

She was such a trooper and just kept her headphones in her ears all night. She kept checking on me and making sure I was taking sips of water so I wouldn't die. She even gave me extra covers when I got the chills and I was shaking the whole bed. 

Love her.

We were able to sleep from about 1-5 and we both woke up and made sure the other one was alive. Sarah called Sokhom and told him what happened. He was extremely worried and said he was going to send over Tolah and Selah *the doctors* to check on me. 

Tolah showed up with Cham Nan and Liq, It was a little bit awkward and kinda felt like they were visiting me on my death bed. But Tolah gave me packages of 3 different pills and told me to take them before I ate twice a day. Well. Here's the thing Tolah. I'm not eating. because I can't.

But we said thank you and they left. 

We decided to venture downstairs because I wanted to call my parents. 

It's the worst to be sick and a million miles away. 

I facetimed my parents and we chatted about my near death experience. Sarah went into the mini mart downstairs in search of some cracker type substance for me to eat with my medicine. The hunt resulted in the discovery of some, no not crackers, but Graduates. You know those Gerber puff things that you feed to babies that are crawling. Yeah. Banana flavored. 

But hey. It worked for the time being. 

So we headed back upstairs with some 7-Up and a bottle of graduates. 

I'm not sure what it was, but the medicine that they gave me knocked me out. I rested the rest of the day and Sarah was a saint. She took care of me wonderfully. Tolah and Cham Nan came back at around 3 and brought me more medicine for my headache and fever. They took Sarah to the supermarket where she bought bananas, water, and Ritz crackers. Hooray for American food! She came back an hour later and we continued to rest and sleep. 

I broke my fever and took a shower. I felt a million times better. Sarah called Sokhom and gave him an update. He asked about church and just told us to call him around 6 am and let him know if we were planning on going. 

We both slept all the way through the night and completely vomit free. 

HALLELUJAH.

We called Sokhom at about 6:05 and after much deliberation. I felt so much better and wanted to get out, but we knew that rest was the best thing since I have a week of teaching ahead of me. 

So here we are. 

It's 2:16 pm on a Sunday afternoon and Sarah and I are still in our pajamas in bed. 

I've eaten 2 sleeves of crackers *with some of Sarah's help* and had a ton of water. We had plans with Natalie to explore the city this afternoon and eat dinner together, but we had to call and cancel. She completely understood and we're planning on doing it on another day. 

We got a little behind in our reading of Jesus Calling, but we caught up this morning. All the readings discussed praising God in trials, realizing we don't have to be held prisoner to time, remembering we are weak and can only handle life in 24-hour segments, and that God is looking for persistence (rather than perfection) in our walk with him. 

Amen right?

Chanty said we were family, but now I absolutely feel like family. 

We are so cared for here. 

So here I am, praising God for vomit. 

Love you all to the moon and back,

Cassie 

Ps We don't know what made me sick. it could have been the water I had in the village or the small amount of ice I had in my water at lunch or maybe it was the food or the cocoanut or maybe it was a stomach bug or dehydration or heat exhaustion.. the list could go on. We'll probably never know. The point is that I am better and ready for the week. Hooray for being healed! 

Confessions of a Nineteen Year Old English Teacher

Y'all. 

Sometimes I'm a really bad English teacher. 

Sometimes I take too long to erase the board so I can have extra time to think of lesson plans.

Sometimes I let my students out too early. 

Sometimes I just stare at them because I have no idea what to say.

Sometimes I have no idea if what I'm teaching them is right. 

Sometimes I have no idea what to even teach. 

It's real. 

So I'd like to dedicate this post to all my English teachers I've had through the years. Thank you for putting up with me and teaching me. I know now *did you catch that? I really typed that on accident* how hard this crazy language is to teach. So thanks a bunch. 

Today God and I had a moment at the whiteboard.

As I wrapped up my morning session, I asked my students who was going to pray today. And of course they all point to each other and volunteer everyone but themselves. As they were doing this, I told them that whoever prayed had to do it in English today. 

UPROAR.

The volunteering of others got even more persistent and I finally gave up and let them pray in Khmer. But I told them that they were going to have to pray in English soon. After the prayer, Pum asked me if I could teach them a "unit of pray in English." I excitedly agreed and we said our good byes. After lunch and naptime, *Selah told us that everyone in Cambodia sleeps after lunch. We aren't complaining* I stood up in front of the class and began to teach my prepared "unit of pray in English."

Well let me just tell ya that it did not work out. Sythourn was sitting in on Sarah's class since he is pretty far a long in his English learning, which is wonderful! Except for the fact that he acted as my lifeline and translated a lot of the time for me. Liq is also good at understanding me and was nowhere to be found today. *I found out later that he slept all day*

I stood at the board and struggled to teach these boys how to pray. If only they knew what their prayers were saying in English. If only I knew Khmer. After about 15 minutes of me trying to teach and the boys trying to understand me, I finally gave up. I turned towards the whiteboard and began erasing. 

This was one of those bad teacher moments where I spent a little too long erasing on purpose. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to teach. I shut my eyes, said a quick prayer, put the eraser down, and turned to face my expectant students. I walked back to my podium and just simply asked them:

What do you want to learn?

Guess what?

They understood me!

They responded with the word "conversation" and then proceeded to rattle off "hello, how are you, I am fine, thanks..."

I was overjoyed and they could tell. I immediately wrote a sample "small-talk" conversation on the board and taught them how to respond to each of the questions. After we got done with that, it was time for a break. During that time I stumbled across an ESL website that had sample conversations for basically any subject. 

HE HEARD MY WHITEBOARD PRAYER

After the break we jumped right into it. We learned how to introduce yourself, how to introduce your friend, and how to carry a conversation by asking "and you?" 

I made them come up in pairs and have a conversation in front of the class. It was hilarious. We were all laughing at each other and the boys were loving it. They kept making fun of me because I was dancing around a little bit. I was just so happy. The next hour flew by and they thanked me for teaching them how to have a conversation and asked me to teach more about it tomorrow. Prayer time came up and they asked me if I could say it. I gladly agreed. I had a lot to thank God for. 

I made sure I spoke slowly as I thanked him for my students and their willingness to learn. I asked him to grant them wisdom and the ability to retain all of this knowledge. I prayed for safety and strength to finish out the week strong. And then I said amen. 

I am not a perfect teacher.

I never have a lesson plan and when I do, it never works. 

I don't know how to teach them everything.

I don't know the answers to all of their questions. 

But I absolutely love those boys. 

They'll learn to pray in English someday.

And I can't wait until that day comes.

I may have a lot more whiteboard prayers before then. 

But I don't mind. 

So again, thank you to all my English teachers. 

I owe you guys. 

Blessings, 

Cassie 

Ps: Some amazing huddle leaders once taught me to "stay focused" in all situations and I think that lesson works beautifully in this situation. Thank you Varners and Kerns, you're wisdom is helping people around the world. Love you guys SO much! 

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourself fully to the work of The Lord, because you know that your labor in The Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58