Bittersweet Teeter-Tottering

[Written Friday the 12th]

Our week is over and that means only 9 more days of teaching. 

WHAT. 

My dad said it best today: 

"It seems like its been forever. But also like just yesterday. Weird."

Very true Dad.

It is weird. 

It's weird to think that I only have 19 days left in Cambodia. 

19 days left in the Kingdom of Wonder. 

*Yes that's the official slogan* 

I'm so excited to be home. 

To see my family.

And friends. 

And cat.

And eat American food. 

And sleep in my bed.

And lay out in the sun. 

And do nothing. 

But I'm going to miss Cambodia. 

I don't want to forget the taste of rice. 

Or the constant smell of insence. 

Or the 24/7 sweating.

Or fish sauce.

Or my students. 

Or the cold showers. 

Or all the naked babies. 

Or the the elderly with beautiful, toothless smiles.

Or tuk tuk rides. 

Or getting lost. 

Or how to speak the little Khmer that I know. 

Or Daniel and Cha Keo.

Or the sound of my students worshiping in Khmer. 

Or motorcycles stacked high with vegetables.

Or the smell of durian.

Or the insane traffic. 

The list could go on forever. 

The point is that I don't want to forget this place. 

I don't know what The Lord has planned for my future. 

Will I be back again next summer?

In a few years?

Will I ever return to Cambodia?

Will I see these sweet faces again?

I have absolutely no idea. 

When my students ask if I'm coming back next year or jokingly make comments like "well when you're here next time..." I'm torn. 

I don't know how to respond.

"Maybe."

"We'll see."

Would I come back if given the opportunity?

I love this place and these people more than words can say.

But could I do it all over again?

So this is me saying good night from a teeter-totter.

I cannot wait to be home. 

But I don't want to leave home.   

Love you all,

Cassie