Watermelon Stains

Hello friends! 

I noticed that a lot of my posts have to do with food...

I would apologize, but Sarah and I just really miss food. 

Sarah has been having dreams of cheese. 

That's how real it is. 

It's already Wednesday and technically our Friday. 

We are heading to Siem Riep tomorrow! 

We will be gone the 4th-8th and we are so excited. 

Sharon is taking us to Angkor Wat which *in a very short-nutshell-version* is an ancient temple that was discovered. Look it up on the internet right now... 

Seriously.

Do it.

Pretty cool huh?

So we'll spend a couple of days at the temples and then do tourist things around the town. Sharon even said we may get to experience a fish pedicure. You know those pedicures where the little fish eat the dead skin off your feet? It's equally intriguing, disgusting, and exciting to me. I can't wait. 

I'm so excited for our mini vacation. 

I feel bad about leaving the school and my students, but we won't be gone long. Plus, they are probably so tired of me trying to teach. 

Oh well. 

The school days have been pretty routine. 

Coffee

Teach

Laugh

Break

Help prepare lunch

Laugh

Teach

Eat lunch

Break

Nap

Teach

Laugh

Break

Laugh

Teach

Done with students

Break

Teach children

Laugh

Eat dinner

Sleep

Laugh

*Sarah says I laugh in my sleep... Go figure*

I need to explain about the school really fast, I've seemed to leave y'all in the dark about that. Sokhom picks two promising boys *well young men I guess* from each Province *village* and they come and train at the school. They live on the second floor of the school for 3 years, study bible, some attend the university, and then they graduate from the preaching school. Once they graduate, they head back to their Province and start a church and become the preacher there. It's a really neat system and helps these boys stay out of bad situations that they may get involved with back in their villages. The boys' ages range from 17 *the absolute youngest* to mid-20's. They can go and see their families, but only for days at a time. No worries though, it's not like they are prisoners here. They all call Srey Nang "sister" and everyone is family here. 

Last night we got to talk to Sokhom for a long time. We talked about his family and his history. He told us how this place got started and how crazy it still is to him. He never imagined that he would be training preachers and running a school. But he knows how great God is and how His plan trumps all of ours. I asked about Chen and why he was only 17 while everyone else is in their 20's. Sokhom told us that he was in the states for awhile and needed Tolah and Srey Nang to do some recruiting in the villages for new students until he got back. Well they ended up recruiting 16 year old Chen who said he was 18 at the time. *the age required to go to the school* When Sokhom got back, Chen told him the truth and said he had lied because he didn't think they would accept him. He was an orphan and was being abused by his aunt. He didn't know how to read very well and just needed a way out. Sokhom gave it to him and now my life has been absolutely blessed by Chen. He is such a good student and he makes me laugh pretty much all the time. I had no idea where he had been in life. It's incredible and heartbreaking learning the students' stories. But so encouraging to see how far they've come. 

I love them all so much.

Today, Srey Nang bought a whole rice sack *they'e huge* filled with watermelons and during one of the breaks, the students cut them up. We all shared the wonderful summer fruit and visited. I got watermelon juice all over my white t-shirt and ran to the sink to wash it out. As I was attempting to wash it out, *and failing at it* I started thinking about my friends here and the relationships that I'm building. 

Will they remember me? Will they laugh when they think about our language confusion and me attempting to speak Khmer? Will they keep studying and learning more and more English? Will I be replaced with another teacher? A better teacher? Was I good enough? Did they even learn anything? 

I kept scrubbing and scrubbing my shirt and wondering if I've had any sort of impact on them. I wondered if I was leaving a stain here in Cambodia. 

It's not about you.

BAM

Slap in the face. 

*surprise*

I can never seem to escape my *selfish* need to be hero.

Who cares if they remember me.

Who cares if a better teacher comes.

*I hope one does* 

Who cares if they like him/her more. 

It's not about the difference I'm making.

It's not about how great I am.  

It's all about God and how great he is.

It's about whether or not I was able to show them Jesus. 

It's about whether or not they were able to feel how much God loves them. 

I pray that they know how much they are loved and cherished. 

Because I sure love them a lot. 

And I know God loves them so much more. 

 

I can't believe that this is almost all over. 

It seems like we just got here. 

It's going to be bittersweet going home, that's for sure. 

But I'll keep my watermelon stains on my shirt. 

And my new friends in my heart. 

I pray that I'm being the hands and feet of Jesus.

And I pray that my boys feel absolutely loved.  

Love you all,

Cassie