Find Me Somebody to Hug

Ahh I'm finally catching up in my blogging.

 

Falling behind in my blogging is starting to remind me of my year in cross country in 7th grade. I would always start out with a good pace and it always looked pretty good at the beginning. But then I would fall behind and come in last. Every. Single. Race. And no, that is not an exaggeration. Just ask my mom. 

So three cheers for catching up in my blogging. 

And three cheers for the fact that I am no longer in cross country.

Today is Wednesday and our second day back after our trip.

We requested Tuesday morning off so we could sleep in *until like 8* and then get some laundry done, as well as pay for our first month here in our condo. We got some chores done and then decided to be independent  and attempt to order pizza to have it delivered to the hotel. We researched it and grabbed a flyer off the front desk that advertised free delivery. It was the same restaurant that we ate at in Siem Riep and we knew how the sizes on the menu were deceiving, so we ordered 2 medium cheese pizzas to be delivered to our room. 

We were so proud of our communication skills *yes okay, they did speak English. But it was still hard, okay? Give us some credit* and waited excitedly for our pizza to arrive. 

Well it arrived. 

It. 

As in one pizza. 

Apparently they misunderstood my order of 2 pizzas.

So we did what any pizza-hungry person would do. 

We called and ordered again. 

And yes they knew who we were and asked why were ordering again. 

But guess what.

It was totally worth it. 

We ate every bite. 

After lunch and a quick nap, we were picked up by the tuk tuk to head to school. Cha Keo and Daniel were sitting in the back of the tuk tuk when we walked out of the hotel and they excitedly waved to us. I was so happy to see those sweet little faces. 

We made it to the school and hurried in. Everyone was so excited to see us and we were so excited to be back. My students told me how much they had missed me and I told them the exact same thing. I was so happy to see them all again. We practiced writing general sentences and all of their sentences had something to do with missing me. It was wonderful to feel missed. 

But it's kind of strange for me here sometimes. 

I'm a very affectionate person and I love giving hugs and being hugged and being close to people and just having that physical touch. Do you know what "love languages" are? If you don't, look it up and take the quiz. It's basically the different ways that you show love and the ways in which you feel most loved. Words of affirmation and physical touch are my top two ways to feel and show love. 

But here, there is absolutely no touching. 

It's very new to me. 

And hard. 

I just want to hug everyone and let them know how much I love them. But I can't because I would offend pretty much the entire population. 

So I turn to my other love language: words of affirmation. 

Well slight problem. I can't exactly communicate with them as much as I would like to. I can have really simple and seemingly shallow conversations and ask them how they are doing, but they will always answer "fine and you?" because that's how they've learned to respond in English. It's not their fault, emotions and feelings are just so abstract and so hard to explain. 

How do I speak to their heart?

How do I ask them how they are doing and let them know that I really mean it?

It's so hard. 

But I'm learning. 

I just want somebody to hug you know?

But I'm figuring out how to be more intentional in my relationships and more genuine in my conversations. And hopefully I'm teaching my students how to do the same. 

Tuesday ended and we were happy to get into our normal routine again. 

This morning came pretty early and we headed downstairs to wait for our ride. We made it to the school and I had my cup of coffee. I went into the classroom and began teaching. We talked about asking for favors and what a favor meant. I also explained the different ways you can ask for help. 

The vibes I was getting were not too comforting. 

They were having trouble understanding and they were tired. 

I was upset because I couldn't explain it and I had no idea how to. 

It was frustrating. 

I was discouraged. 

We struggled through some more attempts and then it was finally time for a break. 

I sat at my spot at the kitchen table and was quite upset.

I prayed for guidance.

The break was soon over and I went back in the classroom.

I made them come up and write sentences that were asking for favors. 

They seemed to kind of get it but I still had to attempt to explain a lot. 

The last student came up to the board and began to write.

He isn't too advanced in his English and he really struggles sometimes. He was asking his classmates for help in Khmer and they helped him organize and spell and get the point across. The end sentence was this:

Will you please come back next year and teach English?

Holy cow. 

And then it was all okay again. 

Yes I'm a really bad teacher sometimes.

But I love them so much.

And I am starting to realize that I am loved back.

I guess I don't have to have that many hugs after all.

This afternoon was much better and we worked on pronunciation and played a couple of games. I was encouraged again when Srun returned from his Provence *I hadn't seen him since last Wednesday* and cried out "I miss you so much" when he came into class. 

It will be okay.

Somedays, I can't teach. 

And that's okay.

My relationships are deepening.

And I'm absolutely praising God for that.  

It's 9:43 and Sarah is fast asleep.

I have no idea what I'm teaching tomorrow.

But everyday that I'm here, I'm learning how true Matt. 6:34 is. 

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."

Amen. 

Blessings, 

Cassie